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My (UNAUTHORIZED) UEFA Eurlo 2020 Preview: Red Dragon Flag Team (Group A) ***Please also note: My internet is broken so this is all from memory, I can’t look up or verify anything***

***I DON’T HAVE UEFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK OR THINK ABOUT ANY NAMES, IMAGES OR VIDEOS PUBLISHED IN MY EURO 2020 PREVIEW***

Euro 2020 (which for copyright reasons will from here on in be referred to as Eurlo 2020) is just 6 days away, so let’s take a walk down reverse memory lane and put a spotlight on all the competing teams. Who will win it? Who will lose it? Who will draw it? Let all your concerns be allayed as we break down each squad in the lead up to the 16th UEFA Eurlo Championship.

Today we continue our team previews with 2016 semi-finalists and one of world football’s recent up and comers, Red Dragon Flag Team.

Red Dragon Flag Team

At Euro 2016, Red Dragon Flag Team surprised everyone by going all the way to the last four. And while their key players have lost half a step in the time since, or so I’m guessing, their recent pedigree will still strike fear into the mummies of the players of their opponents (not only their mummies, but also the players themselves too!). Qualifying for the last 3  international tournaments after doing fuck all for the prior 1,512, Red Dragon Flag Team should give at least a couple of sides real headaches, and if not headaches, strokes, and if not strokes, then whatever is less than a headache (ear infection?)

One to watch: Glagreg Blagel

Soccer talent: many
Weight: many
Javier Zanetti: Thank you
Golf: Yes Please
Wales: Mmhmm
Real Madrid: No thank you
Tottenham: What is?
Playing Soccer: Can’t be fucked
Coming out of a 5-year retirement just days ago to announce his re-retirement following this summer’s Eurlo 2020,  Glagreg Blagel still possesses a mercurial goal sense that can turn a game in an instant. Although time has worn him down, leaving him but a shell of the soccer football game man he used to be, Blagel still may decide a game or two off his own foot clothing (football shoe).

My prediction

The Red Dragon Flag Team run is over. Despite having impressed in its last 2 major international tournaments, this team is cooked. We’ll be saying sayonara and adios muchachos in Welsh (Dywedwch fechgyn sayonara a hwyl fawr) to this squad in mad time. 

Result: Out at group stage