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The two worst words in the English language

The words ‘I’m’ and ‘bored’, when put together in that exact order, make up my most hated expression in the English language. (Sidenote: This is what it translates to, in case you’re wondering.)

Any library has thousands of books (e.g. my local one has 88,000), each with thousands of words, about thousands of things we know little or nothing about. But I get that the library isn’t always open. Still, pretty much every house contains at least one book that hasn’t been read yet. Or one that deserves re-reading.

But I also get that not everyone likes reading.

So then, let’s take the internet… There are 644 million active websites on the internet, and 4.62 billion pages. Try to get through 0.00000000000001% of those and I’m sure there’ll be something interesting that gets you going.

And those are just the things you can do indoors. If you encounter one of these ‘I’m bored’ people in the wild, tell them to go to a window and look through it. Tell them that out through that transparent material known as glass is what’s known as ‘The World’. If they use their brain, it contains exactly sixty eight million and four things to do. Tell them, ‘Pick one and do it.’

And if someone still tells you ‘I’m bored’ give them this link. It’ll find a random website for them. This is my current favourite:


I’m definitely not bored – I could do this all day. Heeeeeeeeeey! Hooooooooo! Heeeeeeeey! Hoooooooo!