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Spoiler Alert: Here Are My Ten Predictions For The Game of Thrones Finale Even Though I Haven’t Watched The Show Before And All I Know About It Is That There’s A Guy Called John Snow And Some White-Haired Woman Who People Seem To Like In It

Wow! Can you believe it? Game of Thrones, HBO’s epic series about being angry in the snow,  is coming to an end! What an incredible eight (or nine?) seasons it’s been, am I right? After all the twists and turns, rollercoaster romances and bloodthirsty slayings, the curtain is finally coming down on John Snow and all the other characters, none of which I can name because I haven’t watched the show before.

Uh-oh, better keep a box of tissues handy because here come the waterworks!

It’s hard to fathom that HBO’s incredible series about a lot of displeased hairy, large men and women who yell and argue loudly while being cold, and then perform groin disasters upon one other is drawing to a close. The end is nigh, and the internet is exploding with theories about what exactly will happen in the final ever episode of this television program about heavily-clothed angry people who shout at each other, then near-destroy one another with acts of damp groin terrorism, and then immediately resume shouting. So here are my 10 predictions for the final instalment of this modern classic made purely from looking at screenshots from the show I googled, because I haven’t seen an episode yet:

1. John Snow (who I’m pretty sure is this guy) and this girl go away together, staying 4 nights at a $45/night powered site at a caravan park in the country and although they find it a bit boring, in the end they both agree that it actually was a pretty nice time

2. This woman and this thing get back in touch after they had lost contact straight after high school
3. The 8 (or is it 9?) seasons of fans agonising over “Will they??” or “Won’t they??” is finally answered when yes, these three do finally become friends. 

4. Jon Snow (which I’m pretty sure once again is this dude) and this other person I assume is called Arya (because that’s the other name that’s in the Google Image file name) hug each other the whole episode because they’re really cold and all the cosy, sheltered caves are full of bears and puddles that could potentially soak through their shoes and make their feet wet, making them even colder.

5. Wait, is this from the same show? If it is, then, I don’t know, maybe these two things do some fucked up sex thing together?

6. No, seriously, are these dragon things photoshopped in? How do dragons fit into the story?

7. Oh, okay, no, so, alright, there’s that girl from before, and she’s with a dragon, so I guess there are dragons in it. So, okay, um, maybe this dragon reveals he’s her father, like an Empire Strikes Back kind of situation.

8. Yikes, this fire looks dangerous! Hopefully someone finally puts this out.

9. Uh-oh, this guy looks angry. Let’s hope he doesn’t get even angrier.

10. This is not from Game of Thrones. 

So there you have it, 10 possible endings to one of the greatest shows in history! Get ready–it’s going to be a bumpy one!