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Qlamqtar 2022 World Cup – North, Central and the Caribbean (CONCACAF) – Team Profile: EL SALVADOR & Like 20, 22 things about El Salvador that you’d have to be a goddam moron not to already know

***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR YELL AT RANDOS IN MY STREET ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***

With the Qlamqtar 2022 world cup only about 14 periods away (depending on your own set of menstrual circumstances), I’m going to bee answering all the burning questions leading up to the tournament. Today, I take a look at El Salvador and 20, 22 things about the country that you’d have to be a goddam moron not to already know.

SPEAK LIKE A LOCAL!

 

Like 20, 22 things about El Salvador that you’d have to be a goddam moron not to know

⚽️  In September 2021, El Salvador became the first country to adopt Bitcoin as legal tender, giving its already destitute population an exciting new digital way to go broke

⚽️  Abortion in El Salvador is illegal. Although there had previously been exceptions in place (such as in cases of rape or incest) they were removed in 1998, completely prohibiting the procedure

Despite a comprehensive abortion ban, Salvadoran women still have a handful of options for unwanted pregnancies

⚽️  Despite having a fiercely Catholic majority, the state of El Salvador is a strong case against the existence of God

⚽️  El Salvador is the smallest country in Central America, roughly the same size as Wales. That’s where the similarities between the two end, as if you’re reading this in Wales, you’re all good, no need to be worried, but if you’re reading this in El Salvador, you’ve probably just been murdered.

⚽️  The nation gained independence from Spain in 1821. This independence was instantly replaced by a desperate dependence on God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, crossing fingers and false hope.

⚽️ El Salvador has five archaeological parks you would never visit in a million years: Cihuatan, Joya de Ceren, San Andres, Casa Blanca and Tazumal

El Salvador ON The Pitch

⚽️  The nation has qualified for 2 world cups, in 1970 and 1982

⚽️  Their 1982 World Cup campaign in Spain was one of the greats, thanks to the team overspending on flying friends and families and not having enough money to take an entire squad to the tournament, a complete set of one of their four sets of team uniforms being stolen and their entire supply of footballs disappearing, leaving the team to train without an actual ball

⚽️  In their 1982 match in Elche against Hungary, which ended in a 10-1 loss, the team’s fans pleaded with their own players not to score, so as to avoid further angering the Hungarians

⚽️  In 2013, 14 Salvadoran players were found guilty of match fixing while playing for the national team and were consequently banned for life