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Qlamqtar 2022 World Cup | Team Profile | Uganda: Deadly in front of the target, taking no prisoners, motive unknown

***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR YELL AT RANDOS IN MY STREET ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***

With the Qlamqtar 2022 world cup only about 14 periods away (depending on your own set of menstrual circumstances), I’m going to bee answering all the burning questions leading up to the tournament. Today, I take a look at Uganda, known for its its unconventional tactic of striking by machete by surprise and without a clear motive. The Cranes first entered qualifying in 1987 and are hoping to qualify for their first ever world cup.

 

The gentle crane, known for its passive, innocent nature, makes it a perfect target for unprovoked, horrific slaying by machete in Uganda

UGANDA
Deadly in front of the target, taking no prisoners, motive: unknown

The Ugandans. ranked 84th in FIFA’s World Rankings, are confident of coming out of a group that includes Mali (#50 in FIFA Rankings), Rwanda (#127) and Kenya (#104) in Group E. But this has nothing to do with their actual technical ability. The Cranes possess the ability to strike opponents when they least suspect, with no apparent motivation and often in the middle of the night. Starting off their campaign with two goalless draws, most disappointingly at home to Mali, has left them with a lot of work to do. But fortunately it’s in the homes of others where Ugandans are most deadly, and they will hoping that their recent experience in assaulting opponents when they least suspect, often while asleep and without any apparent motivation will be enough for them to advance to the final round of African qualifying.

The Black Cranes try to catch their victims unaware, launching a typical Ugandan attack against Mali (the match ended 0-0)

One to watch

If the Ugandans are going to do any damage in the months leading up to the World Cup finals in Qatar, someone’s going to need to keep an eye out for the police. These guys are notorious at thwarting typically brutal Ugandan attacks and are the only hope of defense against the ruthless Ugandan attack.

Learn the lingo & speak like a local!

 

Upcoming matches
World Cup Qualifying | Africa | Second Round
(Group E)

Oct 6
Rwanda 🇷🇼 x  🇺🇬 Uganda

Oct 10
Uganda 🇺🇬 x 🇷🇼 Rwanda

Nov 11
Uganda 🇺🇬 x 🇰🇪 Kenya

Nov 14
Mali 🇲🇱 x 🇺🇬 Uganda