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Qlamqtar 2022 FIFA World Cup | Profile | LIBYA: Where were you on November 15, 2011?

***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOS FROM MY BALCONY ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***

The Qlamqtar 2022 World Cup’s only about 11 moons away (depending on your own set of lunar circumstances) and the first ever World Cup held in the Arab world promises to be a real doozy. World Cup history is a tale resplendent with stories of triumph against the odds, childhood dreams coming true and unsung heroes becoming legends. As well as dumb idiot losers, wanker fuck ups and teams that are just total bullshit.

But how shall ye learn about these legends, losers and teams that are just total bullshit? Well look no further my wayward friend as I profile all 211 FIFA nations eligible for World Cup qualification. Today, I take a look at Libya, who are yet to qualify for a World Cup.

The green and red in Libya’s flag are a tribute to Belarus, honoring the eastern European nation’s key involvement in Libyan soccer’s greatest ever moment

LIBYA
Where were you on November 15, 2011?

Nickname: The Mediterranean Knights
FIFA Ranking: 110 (Nov 2021)

FIFA World Cup 2022 Qualification result: Failed to qualify

November 15, 2011… Need I say more? The day Libya played Belarus in an international friendly in United Arab Emirates–much like September 11th, the day Princess Diana died or the day of Coronavirus–is a day that none of us will ever forget. We’ve all heard, ad nauseum, the stories of how Libya took to the field in Doha against a then 64th-ranked Belarusian side. We know all the juicy details of how the Libyan national football team were also joined on the UAE trip by the Libyan national chess team. We can all still clearly recall, like it was yesterday, the honorary event held in honour of both sports teams at the Libyan consulate in Dubai (see below) and its pleasing turnout of athletes, team officials and diplomats, and our memories shall forever throb with the recollection of the event’s tasteful decor and lighting, adequate catering, and thoughtful placement of one box of tissues per table. The facts that the match kicked off at 4.45pm local time, was played at Dubai club stadium, and that the referee was the then 32-year-old Emirati full FIFA international referee Mohammed Abdulla Hassan shall also forever be etched in our memory. Above all else though, we’re never, ever, EVER going to forget that the match ended 1-1, after a Syarhey Karnilenka 77th minute goal cancelled out a 32nd minute Ahmed Saad Osman strike. #neverforget

For a more detailed trip down memory lane of the greatest day in the history of both the Libyan national soccer and chess teams, go here. Enjoy!

One to watch: The replay of Libya-Belarus

There’s really only one match to watch and rewatch and rewatch and rewatch, and that’s the replay of the one and only, the match to end all matches: Libya vs Belarus in Doha, UAE on November 15, 2011. So get cosy, grab yourself a cup of thick, tar-black Libyan tea, some mint and peanuts, get stuck into a loaf of the traditional unleavened Libyan bread known as Bizen, and binge this bad boy over and over and over until your مقل العيون (eyeballs) bleed!

The highpoint: Pissing off those knobs Mario Lemina and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang by defeating Gabon in World Cup 2022 Qualifying

hahahaha Gabon. hahahaha.

Gabon’s golden generation, lead by star striker Aubamayeng and supported by precocious talent Lemina were hopeful of finally reaching their first ever World Cup in 2022. Yeah, but nah, because thanks to Libya’s defeat of the Gabonese on the first matchday of the second round, they were always behind the eight ball, and never did catch up to Egypt for top spot. HAHAHAHAHA. HA.

Learn the lingo & speak like a local!

Libya has Africa’s largest oil reserves and the distribution of its resultant wealth consistently leads to the country ranking highly on the UN’s Fake Happiness Index

Upcoming matches
None. But either way, all future fixtures shall forever pale in comparison to Libya’s magnum opus: 2011’s match vs Belarus (see above).