***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOS IN MY STREET ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***
With the Qlamqtar 2022 world cup only about 14 periods away (depending on your own set of menstrual circumstances), I’m going to be answering all the burning questions leading up to the tournament. Today, I take a look at Finland, aiming to qualify for their first ever world cup.
Hark! Here be a magical make-believe land, where mythical creatures called Pukkis roams the valleys all the livelong day
This mythical land, known as “Finland” recently featured in the first major tournament (ye olde Euro 2020) in thine history after UEFA finally relaxed its restrictions on make-believe lands being permitted to qualify (see also, “Israel” and “Palestine”). But despite the wonder and magic of the residual fairy dust of fabled Finland’s participation at the Euros in the summer of year 2021 AD, there lies little hope that FIFA will do the same, as it remains steadfast in its stipulation that countries that exist but in one’s mind’s eye are NOT eligible for finals qualification.
One to watch
Well, there’s more than one to watch. Keep thine eyes peeled for curious and insatiable critters known as Pukkis. These creatures are relatively quiet and roam in herds, constantly aiming to reach the horizon, where upon arrival they then keep going. All these loveable characters are interested in is journeying far and wide and only getting their career going after they are already past their prime. Though Pukkis are only impressive in the latter stages of their lives, this is when they are most dangerous and should you see a Pukki, particularly in circumstances of little consequence, well, one shall best be warned that these creatures may attack several times. But hark! Lest ye not worry! As should one encounter a Pukki in a battle of great import, ye may rest easy, as Pukki’s are instantly rendered harmless and disappear on big occasions.
World Cup Qualifying | Europe | Group stage
Finland 🇫🇮 x 🇺🇦 Ukraine
Kazakhstan 🇰🇿 x 🇫🇮 Finland