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Qlamqtar 2022 FIFA World Cup | Team Profile | ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA: DJ please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop the benna music

***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOS IN MY STREET ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***

With the Qlamqtar 2022 world cup only about 12 periods away (depending on your own set of menstrual circumstances), I’m going to be answering all the burning questions leading up to the tournament. Today, I take a look at Antigua and Barbuda, whose best result in World Cup Qualifying was progressing to the final round of CONCACAF qualifying for the 2014 World Cup.

Antigua and Barbuda’s national players are all severely sunburned as their kit consists of nothing but a pair of briefs (depicted on its flag)

ANTIGUA AND BARBUDA

DJ please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, stop the benna music

Nickname: The Benna Boyz
FIFA Ranking: 128 (Oct 2021)

Although it’s impossible for a reggae song to make you sad, the same can not be said about benna, Antigua and Barbuda’s own horrid music genre that consists of a signature call-and-response format where gossip is a main feature and suicide ideation is a common result of listening. Throw on a benna tune, say like this one, or this one, or really any from this playlist and you’ll soon find yourself wanting out of this life, for good. Go on I dare you, slap on one of those painful tracks and I guarantee you, you’re gonna be feeling less hot hot hot and more not not not. Yeesh. Turn it off now, please dear God and Jesus and all His mates above, please make it stop.

One to watch (and listen to)

This song. Just watch and listen to this. This benna song, named Tourism Dying is the reason that you need to just stop and stay away from Antigua and Barbuda and let tourism die there. Just let it die. RIP Tourism in Antigua and Barbuda

Learn the lingo & speak like a local!

An Antiguan woman hears benna playing in the distance and asks a typical question

Upcoming matches
None (eliminated in First Round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualification)