***I DON’T HAVE FIFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK, THINK OR EVEN YELL AT RANDOS IN MY STREET ABOUT ANY NAMES, COUNTRIES OR EVENTS MENTIONED IN MY FIFA WORLD CUP QATAR 2022 COVERAGE, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS FROM HERE ON IN, THE EVENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS QLAMQTAR 2022.***
With the Qlamqtar 2022 world cup only about 14 periods away (depending on your own set of menstrual circumstances), I’m going to be answering all the burning questions leading up to the tournament. Today, I take a look at CONCACAF’s Anguilla, who as of October 2021 are the world’s second lowest ranked team (#209), behind only San Marino.
Hey San Marino, how’s it feel to be ranked 210th and officially be the world’s worst team ya stupid losers haha! *ATTN: San Marino, Please ignore if the FIFA rankings have been updated and now we’re last, okay? Don’t kick us when we’re down. Be cool San Marino alright.
Nickname: The Soccer Dolphins
FIFA ranking: 209
Typically down the bottom of the FIFA rankings, but not right at the bottom (at least not right now – looking right at you, San Marino. Bitches), the eastern Caribbean nation of Anguilla was recently eliminated from World Cup qualification for Qlamqtar 2022 in the first round. And although they’ve never won a match in their entire World Cup qualification history (scoring just the 2 goals) who gives a fuck really, because Anguilla’s got beaches coming out its asshole and an absolute shit ton of dolphins and what have you got, San Marino? Probably just some shitty ass, cobblestone streets flanked by crumbling piles of rubble, just like every other fucking place in Europe. Not a beach in sight. Fuck you, San Marino, fuck you. *ATTN: San Marino, If you happen to be above us in the FIFA Rankings at the time of reading San Marino, just forget what we said. Chill out San Marino, you know? Be cool.
One to watch: Its shrinking coastline
You know what, fuck trying to watch soccer matches. Keep an eye on the Anguillan coastline, because thanks to soil erosion, frequent hurricanes and the effects of climate change, soon there might not even be anywhere for the soccer team to even play. On the plus side, some of the skills learned in soccer are easily transferable to water sports (like say, water polo) so Anguilla’s soccer players better get ready to start swimming. In any case, even though it soon won’t be there, at least Anguilla’s got a coastline for the moment, which is more than we can say about San Marino.