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These European Beaches Are Lame, Gross and Broken! Will Using the Sliders Fix Them?

It’s Summer time in Europe, so you know what that means…. Shitty beaches, packed with a fuckton of people with not one Goddam wave or live sea creature in site. Amazeballs!

Europe’s beaches are broken, but I’m out of ideas. It’s hail Mary time… Try using these sliders in a last ditch effort to fix them!

Have a look at this sandy, crowded nightmare. Give it a try, not sure if it’ll work, but try using this slider. You might wipe out thousands of innocent beachgoers in the process, but maybe you’ll bring even a touch of wildlife to this beach and make it worth it!

Here’s another effort at ‘beach’ by God that failed miserably. Is it possible that using this slider could bring even one Goddam wave to this beach? It may summon a 23 metre giant, and flatten a whole town in the process but if it does, at least the waves will be kickass. Surf’s up? Well, let’s see!

One of the worst things that could happen to all these Europeans is to displace them by converting this shitty garbage beach into a Byron Bay beach that has wildlife, barely any people and waves, ffs. Not sure if the people you mow down will see it as favourably as you, but give it a try, and if you do in fact manage to pave over this shitty European beach, maybe all the victims will eventually come round and like you for it!

 

You did it! You fixed Europe’s shitty ass, gross, lame, crowded and Goddam waveless beaches. Thank you!