***I DON’T HAVE UEFA’S PRIOR WRITTEN CONSENT TO USE, TALK OR THINK ABOUT ANY NAMES, IMAGES OR VIDEOS PUBLISHED IN MY EURO 2020 PREVIEW, SO FOR COPYRIGHT REASONS, THE TOURNAMENT WILL BE REFERRED TO AS EURLO 2020***
Welcome to my daily Eurlo 2020 Wrap. Here’s what happened on Day 7. You’re welcome.
Thursday 17 June
Group C: Yellow Team 🇺🇦 2-1 🇲🇰 Goran Pandev Team (And Nation) (15:00, National Stadium, Bucharest)
🇺🇦 Yarmolenko 29′, 🇺🇦 Yaremchuk 34′, 🇲🇰 Alioski 57′
North Macedonia piled on the pressure late, desperately trying anything they could to breach the Ukrainian defense. It was to no avail, leaving Goran Pandev Team (and Nation) teetering on the brink of elimination.
Group B: Ineligible Team 🇩🇰 1-2 🇧🇪 Boring Ass Red Team (Group B) (18:00, Parken, Copenhagen)
🇩🇰 Poulson 2′, 🇧🇪 T. Hazard 54′, 🇧🇪 DeBruyne 70′
Denmark’s first outing since Saturday’s traumatic outing against Finland highlighted, once again, the total irrelevance and also the profound significance of the above stats
Group C: Team That’s Waiting For Jaap Stam’s Euro 2000 Penalty To Return to Earth from the Andromeda Galaxy Before It Starts Trying Again 🇳🇱 2 – 0 🇦🇹 Please Don’t Think of Hitler When You Watch Us Play Come On Move on Please Team (21:00, Amsterdam Arena, Amsterdam)
🇳🇱 Depay (PK) 11′, 🇳🇱 Dumfries 67′
Holland’s defeat of Austria eliminated North Macedonia from not only their inaugural major international tournament, but also what is likely to be Goran Pandev’s last
Day 8’s upcoming matches
Friday 18 June
Group E: Team Wait Where The Fuck is Zlatan Is Zlatan Not Playing? Fuck 🇸🇪 🇸🇰 The Team Who Have United Northern Ireland and Republic Of Ireland (15:00, Saint Petersburg Stadium, Saint Petersburg)
Group D: Still Not Over the Break Up And Just Feels Like A Big Loser Team 🇭🇷 🇨🇿 Seriously We Are Never Going To Do Anything Better Than Winning The European Championships With The Original Panenka (No One Is) Team (18:00 Hampden, Glasgow)