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A Deep Dive into: Love [pt.9] – If the strength of a friendship is based on how vulnerable you can be with each other, and if sex is the most vulnerable thing to do with someone (naked with no clothes on, nowhere to hide, or no weapons to protect you), why can’t friends have sex?

This is a deep dive into the one word that may be more confused or have a greater subjective meaning than any other in the English language: Love. What does it really mean?


It seems simple. You like someone, you might be attracted to them, but then you decide we should just be friends because you don’t want to complicate it and ultimately either stop being so comfortable around them, talking to them, or if things don’t go as hoped, have them gone from your life forever.

But even though being naked with someone and having sex is the ultimate vulnerable thing for two people to do, why, can’t they just have sex too? If friends get closer based on how much they can share their vulnerabilities, shouldn’t sharing an experience of the ultimate sexual act be okay?

But why isn’t it possible?

Because of: attachment.

A true love may be one free of possession, jealousy and an ability to let completely go and let that other person live the life that makes them the most happy, with or without you in it. Sex (whether because of the connection it creates physically, emotionally (or spirtiually) may cross that line from true love of friends into the fraught and potentially perilous territory of romantic love.