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A Deep Dive into: Fear [pt.3] – The Fear of Being Alone

With Halloween days away, this is a I-haven’t-decided-how-many part long form examination of the one emotion that drives most, if not all, of our major life decisions – Fear.

Here’s: Part one – The Fear of Death
and Part two: The Fear of Dying Alone


Question: Have you heard this before…

‘I need you.’


This is what you need: Water, oxygen, nutrients from food, shelter and to keep your body temperature 37ºC. That’s it.

Now, we don’t actually need other people, but being social beings, without them it’s easy to become, very quickly, like Tom Hanks in Castaway, or this:


(But ending up like Vince Noir would be pretty sweet anyway)

You don’t need anyone, you choose them

So being with someone’s a choice. If you get comfortable with yourself and learn what makes you content and what doesn’t, the people in your life add to who you are. They are not who  you are.

Relying on someone to always be there ends one way. By definition it doesn’t make sense.

A desperation to have someone or multiple someones in your life results in you attracting those that don’t always bring out the best (in fact, when desperate, you can attract the true bottom of the barrel). But when you work, every day, at understanding everything about your own life, your own mind and what makes you satisfied, that’s when you attract those people who do make you your best version.

And it’s because you don’t need them.