In local news, two women both involved in a satisfying relationship with local man, Sam Harris, 44 are both doing their upmost to not be the one he chooses to marry.
Harris has been involved with both women for over 8 months now and it’s believed by the two anxious women involved, that any day now, he’s going to pop the question to one of them. Both women are anxiously hoping it’s not them.
Rachel Wilson, 34 commented on Sam’s seemingly imminent decision. ‘Dear God… Oh God, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE,’ she said, ‘I just can’t wait till he gets down on one knee, professes his eternal love and asks her to marry him. I’m giddy just thinking about. I keep dropping hints that she’d be perfect to enter into an eventually stale, loveless and lifeless lifelong partnership with, so I hope he’s been listening’.
The other part of the love triangle, Sonia Schwartz, 31 could barely contain her excitement yesterday, and said, ‘My girlfriends and I talk about it all the time. They’re so excited for me! They’re convinced that it’s not going to be me. They’re so supportive, I love them so much! Fingers crossed they’re right!’
Wilson said ‘The thought of me being the one he doesn’t say he wants to spend the rest of his life with gives me butterflies. It’s every girl’s little dream to find a man who loves them with their whole being and whose eyes light up and makes passionate toecurling love to them until they’re old and wrinkly. And every little girl knows that is very unlikely to be the man you marry.’
At press time, Sam Harris said ‘I know I’m going to force one of them to be the unlucky lady, I’ve just got to decide which one.’