BARCELONA, SPAIN–Oooh. 6 NBA Championships… 6 NBA Finals MVPs… 5 Regular Season MVPs… Big Fucking Deal.
How many times has MJ bought a 45g jar of unground black peppercorns only to realise at home it’s not ground and since he doesn’t own a pepper grinder, then attempted to take it back to the store, over a week later, after having lost the receipt, explained to the cashier what happened and that he hasn’t used the pepper at all, request to exchange it for a jar of ground pepper, all in Spanish, then have the attendant go and ask his supervisor, and have him return almost five minutes later with a replacement jar of ground pepper? How many times has His Airness successfully exchanged an errantly purchased condiment at his local supermarket in Barcelona, all in the local language and without proof of purchase?? I can tell you. EXACTLY NO TIMES. Zero point fucking 0. So fuck you, Michael. I win.
BARCELONA, SPAIN–It’s official: Previously non-local man Dave Martin has found a place to live in Barcelona, a job, got a Spanish bank account, a Spanish phone number, a Numero de Identidad Extranjero, as well as membership to the local football club, therefore transforming him from the person you see above on the left into the one on the right. It was just a matter of time, but it’s official… Houston: we have one more official local Spanish man!