‘It was better to burn than to disappear.’
– Meursault (from Camus’ The Outsider)
Think back to before you were born…
What do you remember? What was important to you?.. Probably not much right? Well, it’s likely that that’s what you’ll think and how you’ll feel about every single thing after you die too. Though you could look back in history and find examples of relationships that lasted until one of the couple died, an eternal type of love may be a fallacy. But that doesn’t mean we have to throw our arms up in despair (like we really do care) and give up on love.
If you are well aware that every relationship you begin with someone (and friendship) will end –whether through break-up, difficulty or even death for you or your partner– it creates an environment where each partner makes as great a concerted effort as possible to keep the other. When you understand that, at any time, if you’re not the right person for your partner, and they feel it, they can move on from you and find someone who better matches them at that particular stage of their life, a true love, care and intimacy can develop.
And so what if it’s not forever?
There may be no such no thing as forever (or at least, no forever in life). The only moment that actually exists is this one right now. So if you feel love for someone, tell them, show them, and if they don’t feel it back, well neither you nor them are living a lie.
Because a life of honesty with oneself, and especially with the people you care about a lot, is a life of happiness.