The Philosophy of: My mate Matt – Honesty doesn’t lead to solutions. Honesty IS the solution.

Say you have to choose between living the life you want, and compromising the things that you value most, just to alleviate your fear of regretting things in the future, or fearing that you’ll make the wrong decision…

So, this is scenario 1:

If you first thing deeply about understanding yourself, then you’re honest with yourself, and respectful of those who are involved (and honest to them), the only thing you can lament, if you lose something else that you value (but hold on to the things most valuable to you) is that you told the truth. You were honest– to yourself and with someone else. And they made decisions based on the actual facts of the situation, how you feel, and how they feel knowing how you feel. This is how you first create yourself, and create the life you want.

And this is scenario 2:

If you aren’t honest to yourself, you may hold on to one or some of the secondary things you value, but you are now living a lie, to yourself, and to someone else. Which is not only devalues you, proving to yourself your self-worth and how much you value yourself, but also proving the disrespect and lack of value you put on the other person’s happiness and contentment.

But there’s also scenario 3:

Say you don’t say anything, and don’t act like yourself, and aren’t honest to yourself and to the other person, but the situation goes balls up anyway, you only have yourself to blame, because that person didn’t make a clear decision based on who you really are. So say, a relationship ends where you weren’t truly yourself, and it’s the other person who ends it, you have to understand why it ended, because that person never actually saw the real you. The only thing you regret now is:

‘If only it didn’t end, I could still be living a lie.’

…and even though the definition of right of wrong is murky in most situations, that sort of life, that way of living, sounds like absolute bullshit. As a general rule, it’s safe to say that a life of deceiving yourself –and someone else (maybe someone you actually care about)– is wrong.