After making a significant decision where a sacrifice was made, there’s this tendency for some (and I’ve done this too) to focus on what I’ve lost, as opposed to what’s been gained.
Before any major (or minor) decision, think about what will be added to your life, not what you’re going to lose. And after you’ve made your choice, focus on what’s been gained (not what’s been lost). Additionally, focusing on what you’ve gained not only leads to a happy life, but also helps you grow stronger and more self-aware.
Next decision you have to make, weigh up what you’re going to lose and what you’re going to gain. Attempt to understand yourself and what’s important to you, and then once you’ve made it, focus on what’s been gained. That’s it¹.
¹ There’s also this accepted tendency, when talking about philosophies on how to live a happy life, to have to mention both sides of the coin. For example, someone might say focus on the the good, forget about the bad. But much like when someone says ‘Don’t panic!!!’, your brain still hears the word ‘PANIC’. There’s a subliminal order or at least a suggestion that this is at least maybe something to think about. I’m going to try an approach where I don’t even suggest the less healthy and productive side. Acknowledgement of it fine, but having to add a negative disclaimer to anything positive at best waters down the message. At best it makes it toothless and neutralised,