Good Advice, Doc: Local Man Dave Martin Admitted Dead to Hospital, Local Barcelona Doctors Recommend: “Plenty of Bedrest, You Should Be Fine.”

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Wow, if you’ve lost all faith in modern medicine, hold up a second, because this going to make you a believer again. Local man Dave Martin was admitted to a Barcelona area hospital today with symptoms of death, lack of life and generally being dead, at which point local doctors …

Local Man Se Dice: “Yo Hablo El Español Perfectamente. Vale, Venga, Proxima Idioma Porfa. Ahora Estoy Listo Que Aprender Catalá.”

BARCELONA, SPAIN– Having mastered the official language of Spain, local man Dave Martin’s Spanish is so fucking incredible already after living in Spain for only 3 months that he’s saying “Okay, next please” and is moving on to the next language: Catalan. Speaking after having mastered all grammar forms, the use …

Time’s Up, Buddy: After Errant Pass In Today’s La Liga Match Against Espanyol, FC Barcelona Finally Decide To Get Rid Of Argentinian Disaster Lionel Messi

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Wow, just when you thought Lionel Messi may have done enough to salvage his horrendous disaster of a career at FC Barcelona, he goes and confirms why everyone has wanted him gone from the moment he arrived at the club. Misdirecting a pass that almost lead to a shot …

This Makes Complete Sense: Instead of Singing The Word “California” Every Time It’s In A Song, You Can Sing The Word “Barcelona” And It’s Totally Fine

If you’re concerned that there’s exactly 813,004 songs about California but not that many about Barcelona, well you’re going to love this news! Because, guess what, if you replace the word “California” every time you hear it in a song with “Barcelona”, it makes total sense and is completely fine. Wow, …