Whoopsie: New Orleans Executive Vice-President David Griffin Accidentally Said The Wrong Name At The NBA Draft, Selecting Boston-area Photographer And Rowing Enthusiast Zack Williamson With The Team’s First Overall Pick Instead of Duke University’s Consensus #1 Zion Williamson

BROOKLYN, NY–Yikes, this is going to make you think twice before you think you’ve got someone’s name right. With the whole basketball world poised to hear New Orleans Pelicans select Duke University’s Zion Williamson with the first overall pick in the 2019 NBA draft, Executive Vice-President David Griffin made a massive …

Spoiler Alert: Here Are My Ten Predictions For The Game of Thrones Finale Even Though I Haven’t Watched The Show Before And All I Know About It Is That There’s A Guy Called John Snow And Some White-Haired Woman Who People Seem To Like In It

Wow! Can you believe it? Game of Thrones, HBO’s epic series about being angry in the snow,  is coming to an end! What an incredible eight (or nine?) seasons it’s been, am I right? After all the twists and turns, rollercoaster romances and bloodthirsty slayings, the curtain is finally coming down on …

Local Man Se Dice: “Yo Hablo El Español Perfectamente. Vale, Venga, Proxima Idioma Porfa. Ahora Estoy Listo Que Aprender Catalá.”

BARCELONA, SPAIN– Having mastered the official language of Spain, local man Dave Martin’s Spanish is so fucking incredible already after living in Spain for only 3 months that he’s saying “Okay, next please” and is moving on to the next language: Catalan. Speaking after having mastered all grammar forms, the use …

What A Slip-Up: Saint Petersburg’s Moskovsky Station Just Released A New Ad Campaign Using Tolstoy’s Fictional Character Anna Karenina To Promote The Idea That Great Things Like Finding True Love Can Happen To You At The Station, But They Clearly Forgot To Read To The End Of The Book Where She Decides To Lie Down Under One Of The Trains And Get Her Skull Flattened

Yikes! Someone didn’t do their homework! The team behind Saint Petersburg’s Moskovsky station have just released a new ad campaign highlighting the fact that if Leo Tolstoy’s Fictional Character Anna Karenina could meet her dream man at the station, anyone can. The problem is that they clearly didn’t read to …

Go Barça Go, or Whatever: Local Spanish Man Definitely Not Hoping Barcelona Smash Liverpool Tonight But Then Lose On Aggregate So He’s Not Forced To Decide Between Forking Over A Fucking Shit Ton For A Champions League Final Ticket Or Missing Out On Being There

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Much like the quarter finals, local Spanish man, Dave Martin is definitely not hoping at all that Barcelona absolutely rend Liverpool at the Camp Nou tonight, preferably 3 or 17 nil, but then lose on aggregate so he’s not forced to choose between dropping a fucking asston of cash …

WHO’S THE GOAT? – The Debate is Finally Settled: Me Vs. Michael Jordan

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Oooh. 6 NBA Championships… 6 NBA Finals MVPs… 5 Regular Season MVPs… Big Fucking Deal.

How many times has MJ bought a 45g jar of unground black peppercorns only to realise at home it’s not ground and since he doesn’t own a pepper grinder, then attempted to take it back to the store, over a week later, after having lost the receipt, explained to the cashier what happened and that he hasn’t used the pepper at all, request to exchange it for a jar of ground pepper, all in Spanish, then have the attendant go and ask his supervisor, and have him return almost five minutes later with a replacement jar of ground pepper? How many times has His Airness successfully exchanged an errantly purchased condiment at his local supermarket in Barcelona, all in the local language and without proof of purchase?? I can tell you. EXACTLY NO TIMES. Zero point fucking 0. So fuck you, Michael. I win.

Local Broke-As-Absolute-Shit Spanish Man Not At All Wishing Barça Lose The Tie Against Manchester United Tonight And Bomb Out Of The Champions League

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Local Spanish Man Dave Martin is not at all hoping that FC Barcelona lose their quarter final tie against Manchester United at the Camp Nou tonight. Although unlikely, with the hosts already holding a 1-0 advantage after an away win in Manchester last week, this local Spanish man is …