Barcelona Football Club Can Have A Big Shiny Silver Thing Given To Them For Free Tonight Because They Have A Higher Number Of A Particular Statistic Due To Putting A Sports Ball Into A Netted Area More Than All Other Similar Sports Teams Over The Last 9-Month Period And This Will Make A Lot Of People Clap And Yell At Them Because They Like It

BARCELONA, SPAIN–By driving an inflated object into a netted area with their legs and heads more times than Levante at the Camp Nou tonight, FC Barcelona can have a shiny silver thing given to them for free because they have a more quantitative integer in a particular statistic than other similar organisations, and this will make them yell and smile at each other, while at the same time making a lot of other colder and more heavily-dressed people surrounding them smile and yell and clap at them too.

Wow! Yelling and clapping and smiling because of a sports team doing sports good? Sign me up!

By putting a sports ball inside of a net attached to two parallel posts and one perpendicular one more times in more 90-minute periods than the other sports teams in its league, FC Barcelona aims to have its 26th shiny silver thing for being the team with the highest number of something because of forcing a inflated sphere into a grassy area cordoned off by a polyester mesh.

Yowzer! Here’s hoping the 11 human men wearing matching blue and grenadine coloured clothing, who every weekend attempt to shift a bulging balloon-like object from a 110m x 70m rectangular area into a 10m x 2m netted area, can transpose said spherical object more times than the 11 men not wearing blue and grenadine coloured clothing tonight. Not only will this result in a lot of clapping and yelling and smiling, but it will also result in a large shiny silver object being passed to the blaugrana players because of being good at putting a sports ball in a designated area over a 9-month period.

We wish you all the best in your pursuit of smiling and yelling and being clapped at tonight, Barça!