WHO’S THE GOAT? – The Debate is Finally Settled: Me Vs. Michael Jordan

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Oooh. 6 NBA Championships… 6 NBA Finals MVPs… 5 Regular Season MVPs… Big Fucking Deal.

How many times has MJ bought a 45g jar of unground black peppercorns only to realise at home it’s not ground and since he doesn’t own a pepper grinder, then attempted to take it back to the store, over a week later, after having lost the receipt, explained to the cashier what happened and that he hasn’t used the pepper at all, request to exchange it for a jar of ground pepper, all in Spanish, then have the attendant go and ask his supervisor, and have him return almost five minutes later with a replacement jar of ground pepper? How many times has His Airness successfully exchanged an errantly purchased condiment at his local supermarket in Barcelona, all in the local language and without proof of purchase?? I can tell you. EXACTLY NO TIMES. Zero point fucking 0. So fuck you, Michael. I win.

Local Broke-As-Absolute-Shit Spanish Man Not At All Wishing Barça Lose The Tie Against Manchester United Tonight And Bomb Out Of The Champions League

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Local Spanish Man Dave Martin is not at all hoping that FC Barcelona lose their quarter final tie against Manchester United at the Camp Nou tonight. Although unlikely, with the hosts already holding a 1-0 advantage after an away win in Manchester last week, this local Spanish man is …

Time’s Up, Buddy: After Errant Pass In Today’s La Liga Match Against Espanyol, FC Barcelona Finally Decide To Get Rid Of Argentinian Disaster Lionel Messi

BARCELONA, SPAIN–Wow, just when you thought Lionel Messi may have done enough to salvage his horrendous disaster of a career at FC Barcelona, he goes and confirms why everyone has wanted him gone from the moment he arrived at the club. Misdirecting a pass that almost lead to a shot …

It’s Official: Non-Local, Non-Spanish Man Gets Place To Live, Job, National Identity Number, Membership To Local Football Club, Completes Transformation Into Local Spanish Man

BARCELONA, SPAIN–It’s official: Previously non-local man Dave Martin has found a place to live in Barcelona, a job, got a Spanish bank account, a Spanish phone number, a Numero de Identidad Extranjero, as well as membership to the local football club, therefore transforming him from the person you see above on the left into the one on the right. It was just a matter of time, but it’s official… Houston: we have one more official local Spanish man!

Party Pooper: These Are The Instruments Slash Wanted To Play Ahead Of The Guitar For His Epic Solos In November Rain But Axl Rose Wouldn’t Let Him

We were all blown away by Slash’s epic solos on Guns N’ Roses’ November Rain off 1991’s Use Your Illusion I… …But did you know the guitar wasn’t his first choice instrument for them? Problem was that when he approached frontman Axl Rose with what he actually wanted to use to play them, …