Yes, life is chaotic. And yes, the major choices in life are difficult or impossible to work out and get right. And yeah, nature is unpredictable and even though we came from it, we still try to work it out. And mmmhmm girrrl, we know nothing about death, and can not know anything about from anyone else who’s done it, but yet we still fear it.
All these things are absurd. But it’s in the absurdities of life that we find the joy of being alive. In every thing you do, you are alive. It’s something that for billions of years of the Earth’s existence you didn’t do (live), and for billions of years after, you won’t do either. So in the time that you are doing it, live it. Your life’s duration is just one blink. Experience it. Be honest to yourself and to everyone else. Live a life that you want, that is true to who you want to be. In the absurdly short time you get to be alive.